I cried last night. For those of you who don’t know me, I DO NOT LIKE TO CRY! I usually only cry when I’m in pain, and last night my heart hurt.
It wasn’t so much the story, which was very thought-provoking, but the comments that got to me. So many people searching, longing, hurting, confused. I realized what a sheltered, self-centered life I live. My life revolves around good things – youth ministry, women’s ministry, teaching Bible class, VBS, homeschooling, homemaking, marriage. You might notice there is not much interacting with the “World” in that list.
I believe I am doing what God has called me to do. The gifts He has given me are for strengthening & building up His body. I think what caught me so off guard last night was the realization that people are hurting and empty and need God (I knew that already) and they KNOW they are hurting and empty and need God (that’s a new thought for me).
I will start being more intentional with my actions & words when out in public. I’ve always tried to be kind & considerate – I would have helped that lady with her highchair in a heartbeat! It never occurred to me what an impact something so simple could have on a person. I just do those things because it’s what I do, who I am, Who’s I am. I am going to start searching for lives to touch at the grocery store instead of just touching the lives that cross my path while I’m standing in line. Ministry in the midst of the mundane.
I went to sleep last night repenting of my selfishness, for spending too much time dwelling on my failures as a ministry leader & homemaker and not enough time letting Jesus work in me & through me. Still so much to learn, so much to learn.