I just found this post on our local Craig’s List board and thought it was funny. The title of the post is Fake Boyfriend.
“I have been divorced for 2 years and have 2 children. Because of my schedule, and to be be honest, my pickiness, I am single. Here is the problem:My ex has figured out that he can force himself into my space by coming to all of the kids events that he has previously neglected. This means I have to see him about 5 times a week. (It’s killing me.)
You will attend a few of these events with me. Softball practices & games, school plays…
You must 29-40 yrs old, tall (he is 5′ 8″), good looking and physically fit. Your job is to be arm candy. You may fall in love with me. This is not a requirement. The pay isn’t great. (I haven’t gotten child support in over a yr.) You will however be entertained. For our benefit, my ex will talk loudly on his cell phone about all the money he is making. He will at random times, drop and do a few push ups. He will walk around flexing the muscles in his arms. (Don’t worry, they aren’t big). He may, after seeing me with you, show up with a stripper at the next event. My hope is that he can’t stomach seeing me with someone else and he just GOES AWAY.
I will need to see a current picture of you and can provide one of myself. This is your chance to have some fun and do a good thing for a hot, broke, stalked, single mom. Please don’t apply if you are a stalker, unless you happen to own horses and you know how to fix my broken lawn mower.”